My tweets
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tyleroakley
  • Sun, 20:42: If there's one thing the #Oscars opening sequence taught me, it's that I really don't want to continue watching the #Oscars.
  • Sun, 20:48: Gaga couldn't make it to the #Oscars, so she possessed that woman who just won to give a shoutout to Italy.
  • Sun, 20:52: Billy Crystal is in desperate need of a laugh track. #Oscars
  • Sun, 21:04: "We have nothing exciting planned this year, so let's just have a million fucking montages about how groundbreaking movies are!" #Oscars
  • Sun, 21:21: ELEVATOR FACES IS EVERYTHING. #Oscars
  • Sun, 21:27: Non-actors accepting #Oscars always end up making me mentally beg for the sound-person to play them off. #sorryimnotsorry
  • Sun, 21:34: The mom in the AT&T commercial urging her son to do something that will go viral is how @koreykuhl talks to me every day.
  • Sun, 21:41: Within 10 seconds of me saying, "God, if you exist, make all of those #Oscars acrobats fall," one of them drops. Bitch, I said ALL of them.
  • Sun, 21:43: Gwyneth, shut up and sing some Cee Lo. #Oscars
  • Sun, 21:47: If I had a dollar for every time a celebrity at the #Oscars joked about how rich they were, I'd be making the same jokes.
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